I don’t know..what I want to torture you with today!
I’ve just been thinking about a lot of things and right now, there’s a chaos that running up and down my mind about ‘What I am exactly Feeling.’
I don’t know.. Should I be writing poems about self-love?
I think..I should be gloating upon my new-found ‘victory’ of failing at things again.
Maybe, I should stop writing and get back to bed.
Or I think..I should just shut my mind to everything external and sit in solitude some day!
I think, these are mood swings that are pushing me away from sanity.
Or maybe, this is about the expectations that are never met.
Actually, its about coming out to myself with all the courage that I have. *I hope, you’re not thinking that I’m a loner..Don’t, even go there please*
I’m just someone who’s expecting a lot out of the world around me.*I should probably stop writing and delete this draft, but..I’m going to post this anyway*.
My folks want to know, why am I frowning at the laptop screen. My friends want to know what’s my relationship status. My colleagues want to know why I am not dressed well for the day..Everything and everyone wants an answer from me.
Well…and what I want..is..I don’t know..E V E R Y T H I N G, Maybe!!
I been holding myself since always. Not opening out to the people who mean the most to me..Well, because I expect them to understand every millimeter of my thoughts and all they end up with is..N O T H I N G!!
Expectations are these tiny bulb-like projections hanging by a thread between EVERYTHING & NOTHING!! *Meanwhile, I’ve tumbled my phone like a quintillion times, waiting for ‘God-knows-who’ to call. I don’t even feel like saying out a word..and still, I’m Expecting*
I think, I need to drop the act and say it straight: It’s not the world around us that creates a problem, It’s we who let ourselves build Expectations on some fairy-tale grounds. Once reality sets in, it hurt like a bitch and thus, we run out in all directions saying:“Expectations Hurt”.
*I’M JUST PISSED*